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text messages
Contact
at all hours of the day could be a red flag.


Unsplash / Becca
Tapert



When you first meet someone you really like, you want to text
them all the time.

You want to know about what they’re doing at every hour of the
day because everything they tell you seems super interesting.

Many of us have learned — perhaps the hard way — that needy
behaviour can be off-putting. We may be dying to text the person
we’re interested in, but hold back.

However, sometimes a partner can be in constant contact. During
the honeymoon period when things are very new, this can be
flattering and exciting. We get so carried away with the thrill
of a new love that we don’t realise when things can turn
sinister.

But constant contact with a partner isn’t actually endearing.
Texts and calls 24/7 are actually a warning sign that you could
be entering into an abusive relationship.

In May, a domestic abuse survivor shared
screenshots
of text messages her abusive partner used to sent
to her. He would constantly be asking her where she was, what she
was doing, and accusing her of cheating and lying.

In the first stages of a relationship, abusive people love
bomb their victims
by being incredibly charming,
complimentary, and affectionate. This gets their target to get
used to high levels of connection and makes them fall in
love fast and intensely.

It’s all lies and manipulations though because the mask slips
more and more over time to reveal the monster underneath. To
maintain a level of control, the abuser tracks their partner’s
every move. They keep on texting and calling all the time, but
the cute messages turn into criticisms and orders.

They also gaslight
their victim
into believing it’s normal to be together most
of the time and in contact the rest of the time.

If this happens to you, you will probably start to feel guilty
when you’re not talking to your abusive partner. You will
gradually stop seeing your friends and family, as you will be
punished for it whenever you make time for anyone other than the
abuser. You might start to feel like your life isn’t yours
anymore, as your partner is so controlling they don’t let you
make any decisions.

Everything you do seems to be wrong, and every day the abuser
will wear you down more. This is why you should be aware of the
red flags of abusive partners when someone you like is hitting up
your phone all the time.

It doesn’t necessarily mean trouble — they might just really like
you. But if they start acting strangely, by pushing your
boundaries and snapping at seemingly tiny things, it might be
better to get out of the situation sooner rather than later.

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